Friday, April 26, 2013

Parenting 301

Yes, I've learned all the basics, been through the trials and tribulations of changing diapers, answering stupid questions, but I've never lost a child.

I think about the parents of this kid now:

http://www.lansingstatejournal.com/article/20130426/NEWS01/130426004/Charlotte-teen-hit-killed-by-train

We obviously don't know the whole story, but I just feel bad for his parents.  I can only imagine that they're racking their brains trying to figure out where they went wrong.

I'm guessing they didn't go wrong.

I don't give my stepson a lot of credit for intelligence, but it would crush me if something happened to him.

Friday, March 29, 2013

March Madness

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, but there have been many things on my mind lately.

I suffered a congestive heart failure in early February.  I was in the hospital for two weeks.

I spent almost 6 weeks off work as a result.

My ex-wife has initiated an oder restricting me from seeing my kids.

...life is grand.

Friday, January 11, 2013

First Update of 2013

I hope everyone had a good 2012, but on with the new year.

Mine was met with a horrible sinus infection that I'm still trying to overcome, but hey, I'm alive to experience it.  We're still waiting to hear back from the Friend of the Court about our judgement over the kids' custody.  I check the mail every day like a kid on Christmas morning hoping I'll get the word that we'll get to spend more time with the kids.

I'm settling into my new job responsibilities rather well I think.  It's hard to break away from the mindset of management, but decisions are made above my pay grade, so I just need to learn how to roll with them.  At least my pay is the same.  I'm scratching my way up though - I want to break $140k before I retire (or die) someday.  LOL, maybe I'll look back at this post in the future and realize I could have aimed higher.

The kids are doing well, but I feel as if they're becoming more distant as these legal proceeding go on.  The older kids are different because they don't have their biological father around to cause an awkward rift, unlike our little kids.  It's difficult to only see the "little ones" once every two weeks now though.  Whenever I see father/son photos or even episodes of something on TV that are family related, I find myself in a slum.  Sometimes I sit and just stare at the photos tacked to the wall in my office and I have to fight off the tears.  I have to force my emotions to shut down.  ...but I digress.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
  - Douglas Adams

Anyway, I hope 2013 brings joy for our family (as well as yours).

Monday, December 31, 2012

New Year's Eve 2012

I hate to complain, but this is my blog and I have the right to speak to myself.  This is by far the worst New Year's eve I've had in many years.

- My best friend/wife is in a bad mood due to a bad day at work, so we're not doing anything tonight.
- My second-best friend is apparently trying to drink himself to death due to the loss of his mother and girlfriend in the past few months.
- I have another friend starting divorce proceedings.  I've been friends with both of them for many years.
- Still waiting to hear from Friend of the Court to see if I can get more time with my kids.
- I have to get rid of my baby dog because she got defensive over a bone and nipped one of our kids.
- Recentely demoted from manager back to engineer at my job.
- Fighting teenagers at home that make me want to work extra hours so I don't have to come home.
- In debt up to my ears from xmas, lawyers expenses, etc.

My only saving grace is my wife - her presence grants me peace.  Without her, I'm a violin without strings.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Heartbreak

This is the first weekend I've spent with my kids in two weeks.  It's part of a judgement order that my ex-wife orchestrated with the court system.  It breaks my heart that after tomorrow, I won't see them for another two weeks.

I'm not even sure how to put it into words, but as I look at my oldest sleeping near me, I wonder if she'll ever really know who I am.